


Lloyd needs a therapist but he got a brother instead

by Athenaash



Category: Lego Ninjago
Genre: (sir plz. go to therapy.), Brotherly Affection, Depression, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, I wrote this because I recently rewatched ninjago and now I'm a lloyd kinnie, Implied SUI, Lloyd Garmadon has PTSD, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protective Older Brothers, Self-Worth Issues, ninja family, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-13
Updated: 2020-10-13
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:00:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26992531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Athenaash/pseuds/Athenaash
Summary: Please Lloyd. Go to therapy.
Relationships: Lloyd Garmadon & Jay Walker
Comments: 2
Kudos: 62





	Lloyd needs a therapist but he got a brother instead

**Author's Note:**

  * For [CantVibeThis](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CantVibeThis/gifts).



> Tw: self-deprecation, (unintentional) SH via scratching arms, implied child abuse/being shitty to kids (from Pythor and Wu) and there's some implied suicidal ideation in there!
> 
> It's not as angsty as I'm making it out to be I promise- There's important fluff too >:(
> 
> I hope you enjoy Jay!! Ily bro <3 /p

People thought Lloyd could help them,  _ save _ them even. But hell, he could barely get out of bed in the morning, or stomach looking at himself in the mirror for longer than a few seconds. A huff slid out of his mouth as he slid down, back hitting the lid of the bathtub with a thump, and a dull pain he didn’t quite register.

Thoughts slipped out of his mind and into his heart too fast for him to be able to refute. He was useless,  _ god _ he was so useless. Some stupid fucking mistake at training had him spiraling, they were all so  _ upset _ with him. Why couldn’t he do anything right? He wasn’t fit to be the green ninja, and he certainly wasn’t fit to be anything but a stupid little kid.

It was late, and Lloyd couldn’t let himself wake anyone up with the panicked breaths that fell out of his mouth in a quick pace. He exhaled, and inhaled, trying to remember the breathing exercises Sensei taught him. To no avail, of course, he was already slipping too deep into his brain to successfully bring himself back alone. 

Because that’s what he was. Really I mean. There was no one who actually gave  _ half _ a shit about him and his problems, and then- and then when they did they ended up ike fucking  _ Pythor _ . Llyod shook his head, trying to clear the thoughts of  _ him _ from entering for too long, nothing good ever came of that can of worms, he thought, anger lacing his thoughts.

He wasn’t able to stop tears from shoving out of the corners of his eyes, and a few sobs from punching their way out of his throat. He was so pathetic, why couldn’t he just fucking  _ calm down _ . He started to scratch his arms, without realizing, at first, leaving bright red and angry marks down his arms. He was so tired of fighting, of going forward when all he wanted to do was give up. 

Lloyd expelled a low breath when he heard footsteps tapping against the floor, and Jay’s quiet voice call out to him, trying not to wake anyone up, “Hey, whoever’s in there, I’m making some snacks, and you’re legally mandated to a video game session tonight, ‘kay?” 

He allowed a small smile to fall over his face as he stood up - with a small wobble, he couldn’t remember the last time he ate. Lloyd’s joints cracked and creaked in something resembling pain, before he made his way to the kitchen, where Jay was heating up nachos. He scrubbed at his eyes before Jay turned around. His older brother knew he was crying, but he didn’t mention it, thank god. 

Jay reached into his jacket pocket, and searched around for a moment, before he presented a fidget spinner to Lloyd, who grabbed it with a small smile. “Do you carry this around with you everywhere?” 

Jay shrugged, “Heh, I guess so! Ya’ like ‘em a lot, and they calm me down sometimes, so? I keep ‘em around,” Lloyd nodded, and spun the spinner, his head already quieting down, “Sooo… wanna play  _ Little Big World _ , or talk about whatever you were doing in the bathroom? I won’t judge,” He nodded to him arms, which were bare, and an angry red.

Lloyd yanked his sleeves down, and hissed when they rubbed against the sensitive skin of his arms. “Nope.” 

Jay looked worried, but didn’t say anything, “Right,  _ Little Big World _ it is!” Lloyd attempted at a smile, but it fell flat. The microwaved beeped, and his brother turned out to shut it off, before anyone woke up. They waited for a few moments, but when nobody stirred, they started making their way to Jay’s room, in near silence, the only sound cutting through the air was Lloyd spinning the fidget spinner.

Jay’s tongue stuck out at Lloyd when he swiped a few chips from his plate. “Hey!” he didn’t dignify his brother with a response, only chuckling as they flopped onto the beanbags in his older brother’s room, and god were they the coziest things the teen has laid on in weeks. 

“Comfy?” Lloyd let out a joking growl at his brother, and buried his head into the beanbag, “Alright, alright, you’re eating these nachos, and I’m gonna sit here, if you wanna talk, and if that’s not tonight, that’s ok, and if it’s not til 3 years from now? That’s ok too,” He paused, “Cuz you’re my brother, you know that right?”

Lloyd sighed, and sat up, “I mean… yeah I  _ know _ that, but there’s a difference between knowing something, and feeling something?” Jay nodded, leaving the air open for his brother to continue, “I guess… I guess I always feel like I’m not good enough? I mean. Yeah Lloyd, self-confidence issues, so original,” He bit out, sarcastically, “But I’m really not. I wasn’t good in training today and-” 

Jay cut him off, “Hey, you made a mistake, yeah, but remember two days ago when I shocked Zane so hard he had to get repairs? Wu just likes to make you feel bad when you fuck up, trust me,” Lloyd scowled, “Look. If I didn’t move out of the way in time, like you did today, would Wu yelling at me be ok?”

“Sensei didn’t yell at me but I- I guess not? But I’m different! I’m the leader and the Green Ninja, the public looks up to me as like. Like a public figure, I guess? They wouldn’t feel  _ safe _ if they knew how much of a mistake I was,” Lloyd slumped forward, and Jay sighed.

“Do you think, if the public had a live feed of  _ any _ of us training they’d have faith in,” he put on his announcement voice, “ _ Ninjago’s protectors _ ?!”

Lloyd snickered, “I guess not, especially with what Cole did the other day…”

  
“HA! When he totally destroyed Wu’s teapot?” Lloyd nodded, “Now  _ that _ was funny,” They spent near the rest of the night talking about their family, Lloyd sufficiently cheered up. He had bad days, but his brothers, and sister, were always there for him. 

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed!! This was a lot of fun to write, and I gently handed Lloyd all my feelings bc ig I'm a kinnie now :pensive: /j
> 
> Please get water, grab a snack, and take your meds if you need em! Unclench your shoulders and jaw, and take a moment to take a few breaths!! ily all! <3 <3 <3


End file.
